Ahh- the short cut.  Does reading the word make you feel a certain way? Excited? Stressed?

We buy cars with gps for short cuts- stay attached to our cell phones/laptops/email, etc to enhance it, read spark notes to take it, use filters on our photos to portray it, & we often overlook side effects as we are blinded by the chance to make a task easier. 

Take a moment to consider if this is how you operate. (It’s ok -you are not in trouble 🙂 … we are just becoming aware of our thoughts.)

How about a relevant childcare short cut example:

Ever since their child was born, our example parents have always stressed about their child crying in unfamiliar situations.

Their child is upset when they leave the room, have a relative or babysitter provide care, or when they need to drop them off at school.  And their child being upset makes the parents upset.

The child’s expression of concern & upset is relevant. 

They are likely experiencing very typical feelings of fear, uncertainty, & caution. 

These feelings are important fear responses for children to be able to engage. We WANT a child to be cautious, contemplative, & a good problem solver in the face of adversity or unknown circumstances.

However…in this example, In order to alleviate the stress in the moment ^{_{(in juxtaposition to addressing the issue of the child’s insecurity or inability)}} the parents consistently:

• carry the child who can walk on their own,
• allow them a pacifier past the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended age of 6 months,
• give back the bottle at night after a handful of inconsistent or even unenthusiastic efforts, even though the Dr said it’s time for a sippy cup,
• provide food as a source of reassurance,
• choose to allow the child extra tv time past established limits,
• keep them up past their usual bed times (if they even have one!),
• _{…I could keep going… but if you are a parent, caregiver, or have any experience with children- you know where I am going with these examples.}

We are talking about the daily interactions with a child that are easier to step in to soothe, to fix, or complete yourself, instead of modeling how to act, speak, or react.  

_{^{(Which- anyone who is reading who has ever heard their name called repeatedly knows- sometimes stepping in is easier than teaching.)}}

This post also covers a range of parenting thought reaction cycle struggles; from introducing finger foods, to potty training, all the way to helping your child choose a college, career path, family planning, etc…

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Self Reflection Time

Ever find yourself complaining your child is lazy, irresponsible, or all over the place?

Stop commenting & start evaluating YOU.

Are you walking through daily experiences while learning & growing with your children- or are you taking it all on your shoulders & modeling short cut style methods of operation just trying to survive each day (& feeling frustrated when your children model the same M.O.)?

THIS. MUST. END.

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How To Balance Out the Short Cuts

We are quick to forget the feeling of the thought that we are unable to handle a task that has been given to us, or the shame of not knowing the answer to a question. Not to mention the guilt of making a bad choice.  Really- think of the last time you were unable to complete a task without assistance ^{_{(& that includes no google!)}} it is not a great feeling.

Well- fear not.  We will face this together.  We will develop our thought patterns to ensure we can evaluate our proper response in different situations. We will react purposefully- & we will be able to explain & justify our actions- as they will be intentionally thought out.

I wish to reassure you just as I reassure children- no matter how many bad choices you have made- all that matters now is what you choose to think, & subsequently act, now. 

-Ms. Sheri

So- let’s make sure that that’s how we engage short cuts- as intentionally intended.

Any choices you make should be decided. Teach yourself positive methods of intervention, reaction, and modification. YOU are the adult. You are in control of how you think & act. YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE every. single. interaction.

Until next time…

Here you can experience growth, development, & learning.

For your self & for the children in your life, what a goal worth earning!

Now, don’t forget that Be Safe, Have Fun & Learn are the rules,

Use them, change them, find what works for you- but have something! Don’t be fools!

Know what your pouring your energy into…this you can control!

Come, join the movement, & take choosing your thoughts out for a stroll!

1 is the number of chances we get,

to live our best lives – on that you can bet.

0 awareness is not an excuse

Open your mind to finding your muse.

Fortitude, aptitude, & can’t forget gratitude

All of these traits we want to develop, come on dude!

Organize you thoughts to control your life

Its a simple concept, try it- remove the mental strife!

Love your self, others, & animals, too

You never know what any one else is going through.

Don’t lose another second without linking,

The power of controlling your life by controlling your thinking!

-Sheri Ten Eyck

Who, What, Where, When, Why? oh… & how!?

-Every parent & caregiver everywhere- @ almost anytime

Ponder this…

• Who decides what you think?
• What do you think about most?
• Where do you get information to feed your thoughts?
• When do you allocate thought process time for yourself?
• Why do you think what you think?
• How do you decide which thoughts should stay & which should go?

From now on- you can decide to think about what you think about.

Let’s dive into an introspection on how different areas of our lives have an impact on our ability to think about Childcare.

There are many times we as citizens of our global and local communities may find ourselves questioning the policies laid out by our elected officials, our bosses, our families, & maybe even our friends.

• Our government dictates driving & drinking ages, taxes, & health reform.
• Our bosses outline job responsibilities, schedules, & business goals.
• Our families either expect too much, are not present, or perhaps are just way different than us (I have to address that some may think their families are perfect! In that case- I am happy for you!)
• Friends make comments on your outfit, your boy/girlfriends, on how you parent your children “wow- they stay up past 8 & you feed them GLUTEN!?!?”
• Children are taught under the direction of standards, policies, & peak test performance strategies

Re read that list & pay attention to your body as you do.

Did you get tense at any point? Feel a surge of frustration anger, or maybe disappointment?

If thinking about areas of your life where you integrate someone else’s information as your own thoughts gave you any sort of tension or unease- then let’s dissect it so you can understand it!

Insert Rational Thinking Here…

Rational thinkers approach contemplation, & subsequently decision making, as a compilation of choices.

There are many ways Humans react when faced with choices.

Here are 3 common Choice Reactions:

Choice 1: FEIGN INDIFFERENCE You can blindly sheep along- going along with things as they are laid out for you, following rules without question, and achieve goals you yourself did not set

Choice 2: BE REACTIVE Get mad, be happy, do a really good job- or do a very poor one, etc.

Choice 3: BE PROACTIVE We can get proactive and ask ourselves- where should we get our information from? Why does my boss want that? What did my family say that? How can I help my friends understand me better?

Lets choose Choice 3. Sometimes- just seeing the appropriate option next to the inappropriate response methods is enough to kick us into gear.

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When it comes to Childcare- I have found that the real problem with knowing what to think in regards to what children need is having access to TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!

THINK about it…

How many books, gadgets, tools, toys, & other short-cut style materials are out there to “ease your transition to parenthood”, “help you introduce solids”, or to “magically teach potty training”.

Any & every topic you may think “I’ll google it” about …will inevitable auto fill as you are typing- & return 10+ internet pages of results.

Though this concept seems grand … access to all the information you would ever need- every working babysitter, Childcare worker, teacher, parent, family member, aka ANYONE: knows in our red line culture we just want the short cut.

Give us the answer we want with the fastest result time.

Sounds great! Little effort & fast results? SIGN ME UP!

UGH. Here we are … back at the short cut. But FEAR NOT! This time- I have a solution.

A short cut hack, so to speak.

…wait a minute…”think10fold” gives hacks to short cuts???

Answer = YES. My issue with shortcuts is not that we as humans want a short cut itself.

The issue facing us is that society has almost blindly incorporated the concept of accepting publicized info as fact.

So the shortcuts that often entice us are not necessarily based in research, experience, or facts. Just because you saw a mom on TikTok with a perfectly laminated & color coded reward chart system- that she *says* works wonders at home with her child…does not mean she didn’t struggle to make it, implement it, & keep it effective.

It also does not mean she took the time to apply the scientific method to evaluating the intent, process, psychology, etc to ensure that her method supports best practices.

We cannot forget that the internet & social media is often a platform for the A-roll of peoples lives. All the highlights. Often non of the struggle or drama shown- or if it is- it is glorified as “funny”, “expected”, or even worse- failures go viral.

We do not necessarily need more information- what we DO NEED is to give our minds quality content.

We need to engage our powerful ability to think.

My goal is to curate information here so that you- the consumer of the information can apply the scientific method when digesting it.

A quick trip back to middle school science… (oh Mr. Henderson…)

What is the scientific method?

Let me provide you some information I have curated to answer that question.

Quiet simply put (in bullet form if your not a graphic learner):

• “You have an observation”
• “You question what you have observed”
• “You hypothesize who, what, where, when, why &/or how potential explanations about what you have observed”
• “You find a way to test out the hypothesis you formed”
• “You collect data, information, test results, & analyze them to conclude facts”

This cyclical information processing system can be applied to almost any situation in which you want to determine facts. & when dealing with children- & the best practices for caring for them- we want quality, research based facts & information.

When you find yourself wondering “why do I think that?” try applying this method to get to the heart of it. Reevaluate if needed- and think with confidence after confirming.

Take Away

Use the question words: who, what, where, when, why & how to reflect on how you think.

Use the scientific method to help YOU decide which thoughts you approve.

**An important note about learning to think:

Don’t worry- we are still in this together. It can often become overwhelming if you let your mind wander with the concept. Remember the advice- question yourself with the question words- & try thinking about one topic at a time to learn in baby steps.

Until next time…

“Have you ever experienced the feeling of an idea; a concept, an inquiry, or a creative plan which feels as though it has been planted, rooted, and is growing up from deep inside your true inner being?  I am talking about some Leo Dicaprio Inception level mental work (please click the movie image to link to see this movie if you have not yet!)

Well… if you’re saying yes- great- this is the place for you.  And if you’re like- lady- where can I get the Spark Notes version of these “thinking” & “childhood development” things- than great!  This is the place for you, too. 

In fact- this is the place for anyone with a mind of their own which they want to be in control of.  Mindset is everything.  Think for a 10 fold return…why not!?

As I re read the title (Think Smarter – Not Harder) which I gave this first- monumental- life changing blog post for my idea- my incepted life’s work culminating concept- this curated source of thoughts, ideas, resources, research, and community based communication about all things childhood- I think- wow.  

Why wow? 

Because this is all coming together as a result of the fact that I have simply decided to learn to train my thoughts to dictate my actions- with the goal of achieving desired outcomes. 

Read it again.  I have decided to learn to train my thoughts to dictate my actions- with the goal of achieving desired outcomes. 

Maybe highlight it?  Write it on a sticky note or list it in your digital reminders list?  Reflect on it until it sinks in.  It is that simple. 

I have chosen to choose.    

“Hmmm” you may be saying, isn’t that simply called living- the thing we all do everyday? 

Here is where I re-reference the “wow”… It comes through the fact that instead of getting mired down in stress, errands, work tasks, taking the dog out, shopping for food (& throwing away all of last week’s rotten veggies I *intended* to air fry for snacks (sorry eggplant slices- sun chips were much faster to grab) … I have finally stopped overcomplicating the concept of cause & effect.  

How have I “conquered” a scientific fact of life? 

By eliminating a third wheel I unconsciously have allowed to tag along on the “cause & effect date”- the concept of a short cut. The search for finding shortcuts for our tasks, our goals, our exercise, etc- has been exasperated by our human thought process and societal attitude of living in the red zone.

What do I mean by “living in the red zone”?

Let me explain it this way- many of us have been trained, brainwashed, or have practiced to believe that we may only be effective, efficient &/or experienced if we are connected 24/7. Most of us have near constant access to texts & calls from family, friends, & work. Email, social media platforms, & addictive games on our phones, & overbooked social event calendars (more so pre COVID- but now there are all the virtual events, zoom calls, & online play dates to deal with). And lets not forget all the pinterest worthy activities, crafts & academics the other “have it together” parents paste all over their social media…so of course you want to squeeze that all in, as well!

This red zone style of thinking leads to very little allocation of self care time, an overabundance of time sensitive task management, & consequently leaves us feeling exhausted & unhappy.  Go go go.  Do do do.  Plan plan plan.  Prep prep prep.  This pressure to rush cause and effect by trying more & working harder consequently results in us missing the joy of the moments at hand.  It also leads us to resent our efforts as we find ourselves reliving or stressing moments of the past or the future- since we have become so unaccustomed to being present.  At the end of these days- the aim to “cheat” cause & effect by taking short cuts leaves us empty, regretful, & resentful.   

The good news is- though I am no expert- I have decided to follow the calling of my destiny & have committed to follow my long ago incepted thought to create this online community.

At think10fold; users of all backgrounds, orientations & family structures can join the movement to break out of the mold of preconceived thoughts, past patterns, & invalidated advice… towards learning how to think smarter…not harder!

This website will focus on ways to apply the concept of how to think for 10fold return in areas of child rearing & care.  However- allow your mind to find ways to apply the concepts you will learn to other areas of your life.  The more skilled you are at controlling your thoughts, the more success you will have. 

After all- other than our own thoughts- what truly do we have control over?  

So bravo- you have come to the right place for thought invoking content, change inspiring ideas, & content rich activities, plans, & programs where you (& your children) can learn together how to think smarter…not harder! 

Until next time…